Sorry. Don't mean to be a downer. It's just, do ever just feel heavy? Like there a chains holding you down?
Yes, right after my gf broke up with me I feelt like that. I didnt eat anything for two weeks, I had to force myself to pretty much eat atleast a toast.
I didn't get out lf bed for anything, even called of work.
My motivation to do anything was gone, not even video games could get me up.
It was a two whole weeks of just crying and sleeping, questioning if it is even worth living anymore. That was the hardest part to be honest because that part was the only thing that continued on for months.
But I said fuck it, it might have taken me 6-12 months before I did anything useful again but I didnt give up.
I went to the Gym, I quit my job that I hated and got a new one that I love now. I decided to pick up art again, I decided to watch animes again (my ex was against anime, she always thought I liked anime girls more than her so I tuned that down for her sake). I decided to learn Japanese so I can speak to people when I visit next year. And I decided to grow my hair ans beard back into a viking style which I also sacrificed for my ex.
All in all what I can say is. Yes! Live fucking sucks hard sometimes. Makes you just want to search for the best tree to drive against. But you have always the option to learn from it and take your fate into your own hands and make it better. It sounds hard, but sometimes the descision is as easy as just getting up and doing something different.
You got this buddy, I know you do, and if you ever need help or just need to talk or vent (which is a very healthy thing to do as long as someone is there to listen) I'm here for you. And hell everyone else who has sticked around longer than I have ever are also here for you.