The Unknown: Chapter 1

[ExoGrim]

This is the first chapter of the book that I'm writing, please enjoy and tell me what you think.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jaTOI3LAKxcmnhZl-j-Iq6aqPfx5pU7P7FLvfLBdiPM/edit?usp=sharing

 

[DarkGemini24601]

This is the first chapter of the book that I'm writing, please enjoy and tell me what you think.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jaTOI3LAKxcmnhZl-j-Iq6aqPfx5pU7P7FLvfLBdiPM/edit?usp=sharing

Well, aside from some minor grammar errors (which everyone has) it looks good, though I do have one thing that makes it difficult for me to get into (reading the drive files) is that I'm unsure of the context of the world. Is it sci fi? Fantasy? Is it the Earth we know with minor differences, or something else entirely? It's a good story, but it needs better context.

 

[ExoGrim]

Well, aside from some minor grammar errors (which everyone has) it looks good, though I do have one thing that makes it difficult for me to get into (reading the drive files) is that I'm unsure of the context of the world. Is it sci fi? Fantasy? Is it the Earth we know with minor differences, or something else entirely? It's a good story, but it needs better context.

It's a scifi Dystopian with a small bit of magic. It set around 200 years after modern times

 

[ExoGrim]

Edit: The first chapter has been redone and this link is now useless. Here's the new link.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zTi-531IpaYex6AP460qjQyhsA5d3aC2LdQqddnee6c/edit?usp=sharing