Jiokjiok’s Bizarre Adventure
Part 1: Jiokjiok: His Youth
So one day Jiokjiok was happily walking down the road on Ethereal World #217. He was happy that he was alive and that he served the might and powerful Ethereals. However, as he was walking down the street, he got hit in the chest with an arrow out of nowhere!
“Ow somebody shot me in the chest with an arrow,” Jiokjiok roared as he writhed in pain. However, the pain was quickly replaced with a sense of power. Upon wondering why this was the case, a mysterious ghost appeared in front of Jiokjiok out of nowhere!
“Jiokjiok, I am your 「Stand」, the Gorillaz,” the ghost said, “I was created when you were struck by a 「Stand Arrow」.”
“Wow, a 「Stand」! I’ve always wanted one of those since I was released from the tanks,” Jiokjiok remarked coolly. “So, what are you capable of doing, Gorillaz?” But Gorillaz did not answer, as he had used up all the words in his life delivering that bit of exposition.
So Jiokjiok merely shrugged, and continued walking down the street. He was even happier than he was before now, and that wasn’t just due to the happiness inducing drugs the Ethereals had pumped into the air. After all, he had a 「Stand」 now! However, an Ethereal teleported in front of Jiokjiok from out of nowhere!
“I am the renegade Ethereal Dio’Brando,” the renegade Ethereal Dio’Brando said. “Return my 「Stand Arrow」to me, Jiokjiok.”
After five minutes of careful consideration, Jiokjiok glanced at the arrow still embedded in his chest, and said, “No.”
Then suddenly Dio’Brando shouted, “ZA WARUDO!” and time stopped. Dio’Brando walked towards Jiokjiok and pulled the arrow out of his chest. But then suddenly one of the Gorillaz’s fists embedded itself in Dio’Brando’s mask from out of nowhere! The Ethereal was sent flying back, and smashed through three buildings before coming to a stop.
“What… what kind of 「Stand」is that!?” Dio’Brando said, as he writhed in pain upon the floor.
“It is my 「Stand」, the Gorillaz,” Jiokjiok replied, “It can punch anything that exists, at any point in time, whenever it wants. Now give me the arrow back.”
“NO!!” the Ethereal retorted, and he summoned ZA WARUDO once more, but the Gorillaz punched it in the face again and Dio’Brando died. Jiokjiok noted that the building Dio’Brando’s body was lying in was actually a sandwich shop. He grabbed a sandwich, and began munching on it as he left the ruined building.
“Abaj, what a wonderful Ethereal World #217,” Jiokjiok said as he continued walking down the street. “Chew. There must be no other world as pretty. This feels like a picnic.”
Jiokjiok’s Bizarre Adventure
Part Two: Jiokjiok: His Proud Lineage
Jiokjiok was happily walking down the streets of Ethereal World #348, whistling a happy tune as his 「Stand」, the Gorillaz, followed close by. However, suddenly a meteor crashed in front of Jiokjiok from out of nowhere!
“OH NO!” Jiokjiok shouted. “We can’t have meteors raining upon hapless Ethereal Worlds! I shall go investigate what happened!” So Jiokjiok ran towards the meteor, and peered into the crater. But it was not a rock, no! It was Kars, having been launched all the way to Ethereal World #328 from Earth by the power of a volcano!
As Kars awoke from his slumber, ancient aztec vampire dubstep started playing in the background, the Pillar Man instinctively posing as he arose from the ground. Jiokjiok noticed that all the colors in the area had inverted upon the appearance of Kars.
“This must be the work of an enemy 「Stand」!” Jiokjiok noted, summoning forth the Gorillaz. G-36, Jiokjiok’s faithful companion, cowered in fear at the sudden appearance of the Pillar Man.
“I am Kars, the Ultimate Life Form!” Kars, the Ultimate Life Form, said. “All shall perish by my hand!”
“No, that’s heresy!” Jiokjiok replied, “Only an Ethereal can become the Ultimate Life Form!”
“Then fight me and see that I am truly invulnerable!” Kars yelled, and the Gorillaz began punching Kars. The Pillar Man took lots of damage, but quickly regenerated due to his super-Pillar Man powers.
“OH NOOOO~!” Jiokjiok muttered, “I’m punching him but he keeps healing faster than I can hurt him? Is he really the ultimate life form!?”
“FOOOOL!” Kars roared, “I said I was the Ultimate Life Form! No attack can harm me, and I am capable of doing anything! Such as this!” With a mighty swing of his arm, Kars slapped Jiokjiok through four buildings, the Muton finally coming to a rest inside a sandwich shop.
Jiokjiok pointed at Kars, and said, “The next thing you’re going to say is ‘I will always be invincible! Now and forever more!’”
“I will always be invincible! Now and forever more!” Kars yelled, “N-nani!?”
“My 「Stand」, the Gorillaz, is capable of punching anything, anywhere, at anytime! So the Gorillaz is going back to the past, to punch you in the face as a baby, before you became the Ultimate Life Form!” Jiokjiok exclaimed, his master plan finally coming together.
“FUKANOOOOO-” Kars yelled, which means impossible in Japanese. As Gorillaz punched the baby Kars in the face, the entire timeline was reset due to the missing Pillar Man. In this new universe, Jiokjiok would go on to become the first psionic Balmadaar, and get a full-ride scholarship to Ethereal World #16 University as a linebacker for the Ethereal World #16 Jammin' Jie'los.
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Desperatio looked down at the datapad in front of them, and back up to the Elite, who stood nervously, awaiting judgement. The Ethereal, even with their millennia of experience, struggled to form a coherent thought after reading the contents of the datapad. After a long, silent moment, the Honored Overseer managed to finally form one.
What.
